Eeewww...Hmmm...I'm not doing too good today on the old reliability scale...

Started this morning as I leaned against the door frame between the kitchen and the bathroom. My husband was shaving and I was anxious to tell him my latest opinion on the political situation of the day...

"Bladda, bladda, bladda, ...and that's a local senate race in New York so .....bladda, bladda, bladda..."

Turns out that is a federal race. (BUT, we all know that all politics is local soo.....)

OK. Now we are out of the house and over at the Meadows. The Meadows is awesome this time of year. Appropriate sized trees growing out of appropriate sized pieces of sod in a very nicely kept parking lot provide the appropriate amount of fall. The nip in the air causes your brain to play tricks on you and makes you think you can see -- or maybe just makes you sense -- the on coming gigantic holiday candy canes that will soon be up. The morning is perfect for coffee and chit chat. And I am about to walk into my Weight Watcher meeting for chit chat if nothing else. I am going to my happy place.

And I am soooo proud to say that I have not paid for a weight watcher meeting in a VVVVEEERRRYYY long time! I am a (drum roll....) Life Timer! So, I walk in and say good morning as if I am a member from way back. Everyone is being extra friendly this morning. As I trade more "hellos" my eyes feel sparkly, me teeth seem whiter, my cheeks (in my mind) couldn't be a prettier shade of rosy -- and I feel as though everyone I meet looks the same.

Then I sit down. Today the leader looks at me inclusively more often. No one seems to mind Gina's little chatter -- I am thinking they all are enjoying it. And then the topic is brought up "Weight Watcher GPS."

"Do any of you have a GPS?"

A few raise their hands. I do not (because I don't have one.)

The conversation goes on about what we would ask the GPS if we had one. How it would keep us on track.... I all of a sudden have a gem of a statement to add to this conversation. So, I raise my hand, catch the eye of the leader (which I feel like I am becoming very privvy to.) And then I say...with my finger waving in the air.. "A GPS will take you to your destination ...but it will not take you on the scenic route..."

"Oh yes it will!" Many of the class members say.

"Oh, it does?" I say. "I guess I don't have a very good one..."

Should have learned my lesson there but instead later in the meeting a woman asked what to do for dinner when you've already eaten all your points for the day by lunch. The leader started to talk but I (like a steamroller) felt I had a good idea...

"On those days, I go to Baesler's for SUSHI!"

The leader raises an eyeball at me with those eyes I was sooo happy to see so much of the morning.

"It's two points for six.." I say as I begin to slouch in my seat. (Where's Gina and why isn't she standing directly in front of me right now?)

"You should probably re-check that." Said the leader.

"I am just not doing well today." I grumbled as I slid further down towards the floor.

So,

to surmise.

I have actually been working on NOT doing too much unneccesary talking of late. And I HAVE been doing better.

Today was a bit of a set back.

:(
Debbie

I'm (zzzzz) -- sob*sniff -- fine!

Today last week has caught up with me -- but in the wierdest of ways.

I'm tired.

My eyes feel very soar and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror...it's a crazy attempt at looking like me. The make-up didn't get put on right this morning or maybe my color is just off today. The hair is not performing so much as making a presence. Sort of a "just be glad you have hair" day. Even my clothes seem exhausted as they are just stuck on my body, pieces of material here and there that have no real shape or attractive quality. Mainly they are here because I grabbed them out of the closet this morning -- silently asked them to help me out -- and they are here in name only. I am meerly wearing a "sweater" today ..not a "nice sweater." It's all they can offer. I TOTALLY understand.

Then there's Gina. She throws a little fit. I should put her in a time out ..but instead I have this crazy giddy feeling that comes over me and I want to laugh, cry with her, give her whatever she wants because she's so beautiful...so sweet...so perfect...SNAP OUT OF IT! She's being a stinker and I'm just not operating on all cylinders.

I was reading the Bible today. Hosea. I have never read Hosea only heard other people talk about it. I have never read the whole Bible -- only taken other peoples word for what was actually in it. Now I am reading it and I am excited about actually reading the books that I have heard other people explain in their own words before. Now I can read it, know it, put it in my own words. Well....I was getting a little emotional. I was so happy to have the Bible to read. That doesn't sound crazy does it?

But then there's this... Once I realized what was happening next... I realized that I am just TIRED!

I was watching Everyday Italtian with Gieda... can't remember her last name right now. She was making a cake out of a cake mix. I had never seen her use a cake mix before. Her kitchen was so beautiful and I felt myself getting choked up. I was so happy to have the chance to see her.. I was thinking how much I really did love her.. I felt bad about finding some of her gestures and mouth noises annoying ..and then I realized... Oh for crying out loud! I'm exhausted! That's what's going on here!!!

I hope to get some rest... An uninterupted nap, a complete night's sleep, time to lean against the kitchen counter and just turn my brain off for 3 whole minutes. Whatever! Just as long as it's rest!

Zzzzzzzzz

Debbie